get your shit together charlie brown!

If anyone comes up to me in public and says “I like your shoelaces” I will unlace my shoes right there and strangle them with them.

My parents told me that it would be okay for me not to have a job for a month or two so I can focus on getting an internship. I was putting it off so I wouldn’t completely fuck over my coworkers and be independent for a little while longer but I just got called in because someone I filled in for and got my schedule fucked by hurt himself and couldn’t work today. I’m so sick of being jerked around for a job that doesn’t pay well and abuses its employees time and scheduling to save a few bucks every week. If I don’t wuss out I’m gonna put in my two weeks tonight. Wish me luck!

goldenclitoris:

*gets job as a stripper* *gets on stage in 3000 sweaters*
Get ready for some all night entertainment

I’m about to take my French oral exam and all I can hear are exasperated crying sounds from inside

kevinless:

FUCKING

reblogmyselfie:

*uploads selfie*
*crowd boos*